Down with cupcakes viva la flapjack!

The fancy schmancy cupcakes that abound of late weren’t around when I was a kid. There were fairy cakes, with a splodge of icing on – or buns with no icing on. And to be fair, I think that kids actually prefer plainer cakes. Cupcakes piled high with buttercream and sprinkled garishly scream ‘pick me’ to the kids but actually all they seem to do is lick the icing off them and then have a massive sugar rush. Or be sick – which is what happened to Corey after he’d eaten a whole one. I can count the number of times he’s been sick on one hand in his whole life. Butter cream icing sick isn’t any more pleasant to deal with than common or garden sick.

At the risk of sounding like a fogey I think the cupcake craze has gone too far. Too far I tell you. They come in, quite frankly, daft flavours. Pistachio and rosewater. Cardomon and coffee. Almond and sun dried unicorn pooh. Most of which sound lovely but actually people – they all taste THE SAME. A sponge that is often a bit dry or flavoured with way too much vanilla and then a diabetes inducing whipping of butter cream which has been coloured randomly.

Of course, not one to miss out on a trend (or a morning away from the kids) I did actually do a cupcake decorating course and it was very fun indeed. I duly made cupcakes to take into work and everyone ooohed and aaaaahed appropriately and I basked in my cakey glory.

But, back in Tamsin’s World I’ve stepped away from the piping and faffing and am having a return to good old childhood favourites. Cakes which, whilst not exactly healthy, are nutritious for small people, easy to make with or without the input of said small people and that keep in a tin for a week.

My boys love flapjacks and a sign to me that I have indeed completed the transition into turning into my mother was that I now bake a batch of these to take away with us on holiday. Because, like, Norfolk doesn’t have a cake shop on every street corner and we may go hungry and starve and be discovered on Cromer beach huddled together whimpering ‘if only mummy hadn’t forgotten to bake flapjacks’…….. It gives me an excuse to be particularly grumpy in the run up to a holiday and whinge about ‘too much to do and none of you bastards are helping me’ and then sit drinking wine whilst on holiday delegating all childcare responsibilities to husbando. If he complains I point to the flapjack tin with an icy stare that says ‘that. that. THAT. I have worked my fingers verily to the bone making nutritious baked goods for our children whilst you barely managed to pack a pair of clean pants. Leave. Me. Alone. Oh and pass that chablis’.

I have tried to healthy up these flapjacks. The boys sneer merrily at such attempts and spit out seeds/dried fruit with a look of utter disgust on their tiny faces. Similar to the one on Corey’s face when he got in bed with me this morning and announced ‘mummy you smell horrible’ ‘what of?’ ‘of hot. It’s not nice.’ – said the boy with a pull-up full of piss!!

Right – the recipe.

Tamsin’s flapjacks

150g soft brown sugar

200g butter

1 large tablespoon of golden syrup (or however much splodges in when you get the spoon all sticky and the work surfaces all sticky – licking the spoon after is OBLIGATORY)

350g oats – I like to use a mixture of jumbo oats and normal porridge oats – about 50/50

1/2 tsp mixed spice

Melt the syrup, butter and sugar in a pan on the stove (or zap in microwave), stir in oats and mixed spice – press into a lined or well greased tin and bake at 150c for 35-45 minutes. I think it varies a lot when they’re done. I’m baking them as I write this and have just taken them out of the oven and today they’re in a tin which is quite well spread out and have taken only 35 minutes. I really don’t like them over done so I would check them at 35 then every few minutes thereafter. They should be golden brown.

Cool in the tin for 10 minutes and then cut them (still in the tin) into pieces. Store in an airtight tin once cool.

Enjoy!

 

Heat wave – Italian shepherd’s pie – slow cooker

Well, I most definitely picked the right summer to stop office work and go back to being a SAHM. It’s just been beautiful weather and what a difference it makes to everyone’s mood eh?! If I was sat at work right now – writing yet another tedious legal letter to yet another idiot with nothing better to do than make complaints to all and sundry and I had to just gaze forlornly out of the window at blue skies I think I’d be very very miserable indeed. I do feel truly blessed this last couple of weeks to be back home with my boys and enjoying this lovely weather with them. We’ve basically lived outside for a couple of weeks now. Meals outside (love the fact that mess on floor outside is fine – in fact it’s bird food. That’s like nature conservation innit. Educational and all that. Not a sign of mummy being slovenly), painting outside, paddling pool outside, huge rows between brothers and pushing each other down the slide outside. I’m pretty sure my neighbours are getting a bit sick of me bollocking the boys very loudly several times a day (who am I kidding – several times an hour more like) but we’ve got high fences so out of sight out of mind!

I made this Italian shepherd’s pie a couple of weeks ago and it was really yummy. I made it again this week – I’d frozen a portion of the meat mixture and this time I topped it with sweet potato, carrot and potato mash. I served it to 5 toddlers aged between 2 and 4 – one of which is notoriously fussy and vegetable shy – and they all ate it up. I did use the promise of ice cream for pudding as a bargaining chip, but that my friends is the way of the toddler feeding negotiation world.

I used the slow cooker for the mince as I think it’s great on a hot day to whack it on and forget about it. I then made mash later on in the day and assembled the pie for tea time. But it can all be done in stages. The mince could be out in fridge overnight and mash done the next day and I use due below to make pies for 4 of us and then froze a portion of meat and defrosted it and made a pie for a load more kids. It stretches well so is really a cheap meal despite lamb mince being quite pricey.

Italian shepherd’s pie

250g lamb mince
Shallot or onion
2 cloves garlic minced/grated
2 carrots chopped
Courgette chopped
1/2 green pepper
Large handful puy or green lentils
Tin chopped tomatoes
Tbsp tomato purée
75ml white wine or vermouth
Teaspoon oregano
Tiny pinch dried chili flakes
Bay leaf

Fry off in a non stick frying pan the shallot for 3 minutes then add lamb mince and brown for another 3 minutes – then add wine, tomatoes and stir

While that’s all frying chop veg and throw into slow cooker (on high setting). Add the lamb, tomato mixture and refill tomato can half way with water. Add herbs and spices and give a quick stir.

Keep slow cooker on high for 30 mins then turn down low for the rest of the day.

Toppings – this makes a lovely take on a shepherd’s pie. (Although it’s also good with pasta)

I mashed potato with butter beans and Parmesan to go on top. I boiled potatoes (sorry but I forgot to weigh how much!) and them 3 mins from end of cooking I added a drained can of butter beans. Drained the potatoes and beans and then returned to pan with a knob of butter and a couple of tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. Mash up. (Not in a glee club mix of Aerosmith and Rhianna way. In a use a masher and squidge kind of way)

Put sauce in an oven proof dish, top with mash, add more grated cheese if you want them bake in oven around 185c for around 25 mins.

Enjoy!

Breakfast oat and cottage cheese pancakes/waffles

Kids say the funniest things…..

And then the parents promptly forget them. One of the best things about being a mum is the general hilarity that children bring. Not the – I’m laughing because I’m so tired I’m vaguely hysterical and if I don’t laugh I will cry and may never stop – kind of hilarity. Some of the humour is of the, guess you had to be there variety but too much of it is tears streaming down the face funny – at the time – and then in the hustle and bustle of daily life it gets forgotten. One of my reasons for starting a blog was to record those moments.

So, before they’re lost forever – this is a few of the funny things my boys have said to me over the last week or so:

The other morning, as we were putting our coats on, Mitch said to me ‘mummy, do you take clothes off when you get to work?’ ‘No mitch I don’t’ ‘ha ha ha, you work with your clothes on?’. WTF? What does he think I work as???? As far as I know, not many civil servants work in the nude. Or maybe they do? Maybe there’s a whole nudey special branch somewhere. I’d like to think not. The majority of my good comrades in the service would not be easy on the eye in the altogether. I include myself in that judgment.

Corey last week when we were heading to a new place ‘has the sat nav been here before?’ ‘no, it’s our sat nav, it only goes where we go’ ‘so how did it remember how to get here then?’

This morning I made these oat and cottage cheese waffles for breakfast. I admit it, they sound minging – but bear with me, they’re great. We all love them and although they’re healthy they kind of don’t taste that healthy. (They have nothing to do with the kids being funny, I was just in the middle of the above post and tacked the recipe on the end. Zero continuity. Zilch. Great blogging eh?!?!)

The first time I cooked them I did them as pancakes – which turned out great but it’s a bit of a faff cooking them one at a time and I always get a bit naffed of when I, as chief pancake maker tosser have to watch forlornly while the greedy sodding kids and husband are eating their pancakes and all the best toppings and I’m still cooking. An IG friend suggested doing them to the waffle maker and that worked just as well and was easier. But if you don’t have a waffle maker just do a ladle full in a frying pan and cook 2-3 mins each side.

I added blueberries to the mixture which worked well in the frying pan but kind of stuck in the waffle maker.

Recipe – oat and cottage cheese pancakes / waffles

100g rolled oats
200g cottage cheese (although I used 250g as that was the size of my pot and it seemed stupid to leave a tiny bit!)
4 eggs
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons sugar (optional)

Blitz all ingredients in a food processor until smooth – then fry/waffle make until golden brown. Serve with fruit/syrup/honey

Gwyneth Paltrow and I are virtually twins

I think it’s fair to say that Gwyneth Paltrow and I have very little in common. She is a willowy blonde movie star who advocates a super healthy diet, eschews red meat and names her children after fruit. I am rather less than willowy, love a big fat steak and like to think that I’ve named my children sensibly. So when one of my instagram buddies recommended her cook book ‘Notes from my Kitchen Table’ recently I was a little sceptical that I’d like it but the pictures looked nice so I bought it (seriously, marketing folks must have wet dreams about people like me – I am such an easy sell I virtually beg to buy things I have no need of!)

Gwynnie, as I like to call her, does look impossibly glamorous in a wholesome fashion with her fruity kids in the pictures but I’ve mainly been impressed by the fact that not all the recipes are stupidly healthy. There is a recipe for chips, a lovely sounding macaroni cheese, hot fudge sauce even. I find it hard to believe that Gwynnie is chowing down a huge bowl of cheesy pasta and then eating hot fudge sauce straight from the pan mind you! There are lots of yummy healthy recipes and it’s certainly making me think that we should be eating more of the healthy stuff and less of the treats.

She does seem to have an obsession with ingredients that helpfully don’t seem to be sold in the UK – like some vegan mayonnaise and duck bacon. What the hell is duck bacon?? I’ll just get some next time I’m at my Park Avenue apartment shall I?! But I’m thinking that good old Hellmans and some streaky bacon from the butcher down the road will do just fine. Don’t dob me in to Gwynnie.

This afternoon I made her ‘lalo’s famous cookies’ with the kids. This was misguided as Mitch is a bit tired and grumpy after yacking up everywhere last night, Corey is a lunatic who eats all the ingredients raw, I am barely recovering from pneumonia. But hey, getting kids involved in cooking is a great family activity and will ensure they’re never ever fat and live to be a zillion right? It’s true – Gwynnie says so and Sir Jamie of Oliver says so too. Although, unlike us lesser mortals, I’m pretty sure that they don’t shout things like “FFS stop eating the jam straight from the jar” “why are you shrieking hysterically that the nuts are too loud in the blender?” “why is there jam in your ears?”…….. And then have a little cry because the kitchen floor looks like a sticky nutty jam slick.

Well here’s my adaptation of her recipe:

225g Spelt flour (she says barley flour but where the hell do I buy that from?!)
225g Whole Almonds blitzed in food processor (although next time I’ll use ground almonds I think)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon mixed spice or cinnamon
125 ml rapeseed oil
125 ml maple syrup (although I used maple flavoured syrup because it was a third of the price)
Jam (I used sugar free blueberry)

Preheat oven to 180 degrees /gas 4 – combine all ingredients except for jam together in a bowl. Make into tablespoon sized balls. Stick your finger in each one to make a hole, put a teaspoon of jam in each one. Put on baking tray and cook for 20 mins till golden (or a bit too brown as mine were!)

I liked them, Corey liked them, Mitch threw his on the floor in disgust that there was no chocolate content! That counts as an overall success in my book. The floor however remains a sticky nut covered mess.

I can feel myself becoming willow-ier by the minute……and have that vaguely smug Gwyneth air. See, we are virtually twins.